Coming Out

God designed you to be specifically yourself. It is your mission to find out who that is. That which feels good to you, what you are naturally drawn to (hobbies, wisdom, lovers) is the direction in which you are oriented—face this way; be guided toward people who support this version of you.

Express your-self. This is your duty. At the end of your days, you will report to God everything that you learned about what it was like to play the role of you.

When you worry about what others will think of you, you give them control. Why are you so quick to give control of your life to someone else? It makes you feel out of control; you become anxious and fearful – you are out of alignment with God because you are out of alignment with yourself.

With regards to sexuality, you may have noticed that a lot of people lately are finding love and finding themselves, and many more of them are coming out than ever before. As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, “WTF Is Happening?“, the Truth is rising above the illusion, or the immature self. And as male/female energy heals and balances all over the world, it will be even easier for all people to ‘come out’–as we will have less fear of ‘the other’ when we feel whole within ourselves.

Prayer: I love myself for who I am, and through the expression of self, I express a piece of God. I wish absolute freedom of expression for myself, and for the entire world. I am grateful that I am one of the lucky ones.  I open myself to personal growth and wholeness, and welcome the journey. I love who I love, and I love what I love. I desire to be the version of myself that God had in mind, which he placed in my heart. As I become myself, I release myself from bondage, and as I wish the same for the whole world; we are all released. I am always protected by my Truth. And So It Is. Amen.

Be yourself. You’re perfect for the role!

Love always,

The Jester

5/1/13 – WTF Is Happening?

…is a question you may be asking yourself, especially lately. There are many answers to this, here’s one: Male/Female Energy is going through a massive, massive cleansing right now. Karma is being burned, contracts are being broken, and for the most part, your ‘release’ system is on. Whether or not you’re consciously trying to release, it’s happening for you. Those who are in resistance in any way may be experiencing feelings of: anxiety, fear, frustration, anger, tension, stress, illness, pain, and general non-alignment with ‘how life is supposed to be’. Most everyone is in some kind of resistance; the larger the resistance, the bigger the emotional blow-back.

Everyone, the cords are breaking. As male and female energy comes into maturation, old ‘games’ are being revealed, and a desire to ‘grow up’ is taking over. Male/Female energy wants to be at peace with itself on the micro, macro, civil, and political levels. This desire-to-grow is magnetically attracting situations in our lives that 1) give us a chance to choose growth, whereas our former selves would have chosen to repeat, and 2) create a deeper desire to continue growing. Thus, the cycle continues.

The vibration of Truth is rising above the illusions, like a flower breaking through concrete. The concrete is a very persistent illusion, material and hard, but the Flower is of god. The Truth comes out. People are coming out. They’re coming into acceptance of their Energy. Your energy wants to flow in the direction of your nature, and for many lifetimes you’ve been able to choose not to flow in that direction. In this lifetime, in 2013, you will not be able to choose resistance. The flow is happening for you, and those who surrender will reap.

Allow the wholeness of male/female energy within you to manifest in the way your higher self is choosing. Say a prayer of forgiveness (it can be basic, don’t freak yourself out) just say the words, “I release all energy in my space that does not serve my highest good, and I bring balance to all of the Male/Female energy within me, and I allow my energy to be itself.”

Tomorrow we will talk more about the idea of ‘coming out’.

‘Til then,

The Jester

That moment when you realize you and your friends used to have Borderline Personality Disorder.

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)- Winona Ryder in Girl Interrupted

You know that moment when you discover you, and probably at least a few of your friends, used to have, or still have, BPD? My moment happened to be on the radio. I’m the wingman on a monthly morning show called Happe Talk on KJFK in Reno. The special guest for the hour on this last show was Dr. Ed Lynn, Psychiatrist. In the beginning of this episode, host Michele Happe and Ed listed the 9 symptoms of BPD, and my mind was going: Check, check, check. I wasn’t sure whether it was more shocking to realize that, in the past (ages 12-23), I exhibited 5 out of 9 of those symptoms (the number that officially diagnosis someone with BPD), or the fact that I have frequently put up with friends that exhibited all 10. (I think when we see a piece of ourself in another, it’s harder to let go.)

If you’ve never heard of BPD before, or read the symptoms, you may feel relieved just by knowing that you’re not crazy (for having it, or for putting up with people who do.) If you realize that a close friend may have BPD, be cautious in sharing this news with them, because, as I mentioned above, it’s going to be in the nature of anyone who has BPD to FREAK OUT at the mere mention that they may need to seek help. Think about it, if there were ever a disease to be offended by, it’d be BPD.

I have WHAT?? F**k you. YOU have Borderline Personality Disorder. Jackass.

Often, they will claim that they are smarter than professional counselors and doctors, and/or that anyone who seeks any form of counseling is weak.  The best thing you can do is draw clear boundaries, be open and honest about what you think of their behavior, and ignore their attention-seeking behavior like you would a child; generally, they will either change for the better, or, find other people who want to play their game.

If you are the one exhibiting 5 or more symptoms, find help, either through a friend, counselor, church, or spiritual practice. Become mindful of your behavior, (Why did I just lie? Am I trying to make this situation worse? Why would I do that? Do I do that often?) BUT, don’t make a big deal out of how messed up and tortured you are–just become conscious of your thoughts and behaviors. Humility and self-awareness are key. Change like this can take place in a quantum moment when you realize how powerful you are; you were powerful enough to create these intricate dramas, and now you’re powerful enough to surrender.

Namaste,

The Jester

Here are the 9 Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder. (To be diagnosed with BPD, a person must experience at least 5 of the 9 symptoms listed):

Abandonment Sensitivity

• Frequently fearing being left or abandoned by loved ones or friends
• Often imagining or believing that others are leaving, even when they are not
• Attempts to avoid abandonment (for example, physically clinging to others when they attempt to leave)

Unstable Relationships

• Having intense relationships with lots of conflict, and/or breakups
• Having frequent arguments with friends and loved ones
• Experiencing ups and downs in relationships (for example, going from feeling as if you really need someone to feeling as if you need to get far away from him or her)
• Often feeling disappointment in or even hatred toward loved ones

Identity Disturbance

• Experiencing frequent changes in sense of self-worth (for example, one moment feeling okay about yourself and then next feeling that you are a bad person)
• Feeling unsure about identity (for example, feeling like you don’t know who you really are as a person, or what you believe in)
• Feeling nonexistent

Impulsivity

• Engaging in impulsive behaviors, such as going on spending sprees, having promiscuous sex, driving recklessly, abusing drugs or alcohol, binge eating, or breaking the law

Suicidal Behaviors or Self-Harm

• Making suicide attempts or gestures
• Threatening to commit suicide to communicate emotional pain or to see if others care
• Engaging in acts of self-harm without intending to commit suicide (for example, cutting or burning yourself)

Emotional Instability

• Experiencing intense negative feelings in reaction to day-to-day situations
• Feeling intense sadness, irritability, or anger that may last for hours
• Having frequent and intense mood changes (for example, going from feeling okay to feeling totally despairing in a matter of minutes or hours)

Chronic Feelings of Emptiness

• Often feeling empty
• Feeling no emotions or feeling as if there is nothing inside

Inappropriate Anger

• Feeling intense anger that is stronger than the situation warrants
• Having difficulty controlling anger (for example, often yelling at others, being sarcastic, breaking things, or getting into physical fights)

Stress-induced Paranoia or Dissociation

Having some or all of the following experiences in response to stress:

• Feeling that others are picking on you or are trying to cause you harm
• Having a feeling that people or things are “unreal” or experiencing episodes of feeling “zoned out” or “numb”
• Feeling emotionally dead inside